From Friday Night Lights’ Tami Taylor to Vivian Banks of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air to Linda Belcher of Bob’s Burgers, our favorite TV shows depict mothers of all kinds. I’ve noticed something, though. While TV provides us with real, flawed mom characters to relate to, we still somehow often hold ourselves up to June Cleaver, the quintessential perfect mother. When she isn’t serving up a wholesome dinner, Mrs. Cleaver ices a cake for dessert, arranges lovely floral bouquets and, of course, keeps the family’s suburban Mayfield home exceptionally tidy. If you’re more of a perpetually 15 minutes late, takeout-ordering kind of mom, that’s cool too. Regardless of whether you’re crushing it or simply just taking motherhood one day at a time, you’re doing it, Mama, and that’s definitely something to be proud of.
WOMEN IN NUMBERS: 35 Percent
Even though Ward Cleaver never cleaned a dish in his life, there’s one more particularly worrisome topic Leave It to Beaver certainly didn’t depict: divorce. These days, most of us are either closely connected to someone with divorced parents, or may be a product of divorce ourselves. Following more than 50 studies focused on divorce and joint custody, researchers found that when kids spend at least 35 percent of their time with each separated parent—rather than living with one parent and periodically visiting the other—they generally do better academically, socially and psychologically.
WOMAN TO WATCH: Destiney Green, Founder of Mom Crush Monday
Ladies, if you’re in need of a new mama role model, look no further than today’s Woman to Watch, Destiney Green. This stylish and inspirational mom blogs about her journey through motherhood as a single parent on her site, Mom Crush Monday. From struggling through depression to finding beauty in the simple things to understanding there will be mistakes but also growth, and advocating for the importance of self-care, Destiney puts it all out there, and connects with hundreds of thousands of followers.
With a minimalist aesthetic accented by genuinely fun and bright photos of Destiney and her adorable daughter, Honor, Mom Crush Monday offers advice about how to parent in 2018. But Destiney admits she is far from perfect, and acknowledges that she created Mom Crush Monday as a way to connect to, learn from and celebrate other moms while embracing the motherhood community.
One unique topic Destiney covers is one many mamas struggle with: how the heck to co-parent. Destiney compares co-parenting (sharing the duties of raising her daughter with her ex) to dancing the tango. It’s complicated but can also be beautiful when both parents commit to it wholeheartedly. “It’s not a love song,” Destiney says. “It’s a give and take.”
Destiney offers a handful of ideas for effective co-parenting, including some that aim to make things easier for single moms’ personal and professional ventures. First, don’t be extra. That means don’t be a drama queen, instead, allowing your head to direct your actions rather than your emotions. Also, be inclusive and don’t talk poorly about your ex to others—especially your kiddo.
Another cool facet of Destiney’s Mom Crush Monday is her members-only, business-focused network, Majoring in Motherhood, through which Destiney offers networking events and workshops, and covers a variety of topics for mama moguls wanting to dominate in their career fields.
For Destiney, the key to finding joy in her career and life is to connect with other moms without a sense of competition. Establishing a foundation of sincere sisterhood gives her energy to move through the motions and challenges every day, all while looking forward to tucking her little one into bed at night.
QUITE THE QUOTE
One of Destiney Green’s favorite quotes is from 13th century poet and scholar Rumi, who said:
“You were born with wings. Why prefer to crawl through life?”
This is Melinda Garvey signing off until next time. Remember, ladies, empowered women empower other women. Share On the Dot so more women can have a voice. Thanks for getting ready with us.