FIRST THOUGHT: Home Improvement
This morning, I listened to a meditation guided by a former Woman to Watch. She explores one simple word that packs a whole lot of meaning: change. While we often punctuate our lives with the significant moments when something really changes, everything is changing, like, all the time. The cells that make up your body reproduce nonstop; the grass grows; and yes, since you’ve started reading or listening to this, you’ve aged a little. As much as it angers me to admit, we can’t change change. Much of life seems to be out of our control, but what we can work on (at least during our next life-altering situation) is to accept that the only constant is, indeed, no constant at all.
WOMEN IN NUMBERS: 93 Percent
If there’s one thing that’s always evolving, it’s our relationships with others. Mortal enemies can become best friends, and vice versa. Those days and years after signing that marriage license can offer seemingly one obstacle after another. If you have a girlfriend struggling with a partner, mention therapy. It might be a tad awkward to bring up, I know. It’s hard to slip a “You guys should see a counselor!” after passing the Thanksgiving turkey, but dish out some stats, too, like this one: 93 percent of patients that work with a marriage or family therapist report feeling confident enough to deal with their problems.
WOMAN TO WATCH: Kimberly Seltzer, Image Consultant and Dating Expert
If you’re in limbo between calling it kaput or sucking it up, listen to the story of today’s Woman to Watch, Kimberly Seltzer, before making your next move. Kim was your typical, successful woman: She graduated college, earned her graduate degree, got married, had kids and thrived at her therapy practice. Then, her husband hit her with the dreaded D word: divorce.
As her life began to change, Kim knew it could go two ways: Either she could flourish during this fluctuating time of her life, or she could mope and resist what happened. Obviously, Kim chose the former. She has used her personal experience in heartbreak and new beginnings to become an image consultant and dating expert.
Kim is kind of like a real-life makeover host, specializing in overhauling your look and building your confidence to date post-divorce. Have you ever watched one of those TV makeovers and wished it were you? I know I have.
Kim’s career fills a need of others. Many—if not most—people don’t find dating to be super second-nature, especially in a time when you’re given a one-second first impression before a suitor swipes right or left. Beyond giving the tools to build clients an amazing wardrobe, Kim teaches others how to build poise and confidence, which happen to be the most captivating traits ever.
If your relationship is in a rut, try some of Kim’s ideas to give it a boost. Consider connecting in different ways. Always texting? Pick up the phone. Skype. Send an old-fashioned letter if you’ve got all day. Another go-to tip: Decide what you should do, together. Instead of turning the TV on for more Friends reruns per usual, suggest you both pick something new. You’re still paying for HBOgo, anyway, right?
One last bit of advice that can be useful, whether your relationship is personal or professional, is to just give a dang compliment already. Once we get accustomed to the same face staring at us across the table, slurping up Cheerios and splashing milk around, we forget to say simple things like, “You look nice today.”
Follow Kim on Twitter @SeltzerKimberly.
QUITE THE QUOTE
While country music may not put a flutter in your stomach, those songs know a thing or two about heartbreak and love. Singer Jimmy Dean said:
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."