FIRST THOUGHT: Love at First Sight
If you haven’t listened to the podcast or watched the show Dirty John, get on it. The real-life story is based on a guy who nabs ladies, only to use them in whatever psycho game he’s playing. They say that 1 percent of the population are psychopaths and 4 percent are sociopaths, and if you’re thinking, that was my ex, hey, you may be right. So what’s the difference? Sociopaths can develop real bonds with others and may even feel guilt for doing you dirty, girl. Psychopaths, on the other hand, lack emotional attachments, a la Gone Girl. Today, put on your detective fedora, and see if you can spot who in the office most closely resembles one of these types.
WOMEN IN NUMBERS: 4 Minutes
People often talk about how they “just knew” something was “off” about him. Intuition can be a seriously helpful thing when it comes to spotting the killer next door or boyfriend-to-be. It takes only four minutes or less to decide whether you’re going to like someone or not, and oftentimes, you don’t even realize it. While that might make you think you’ve got to dress to impress, I say it means you’ve got to present the real you from the onset. (Better for someone to know that you wear the same college sweatshirt and rock a messy bun on most weekends, so either love it or leave it).
WOMAN TO WATCH: Helen Fisher, Biological Anthropologist & Human Behavior Researcher
Apparently, body language is a big factor in why it takes us such little time to size someone up. This is just one aspect of what human behavior researcher Helen Fisher examines, as the Chief Scientific Advisor to the dating site Match.com.
(Whoa, whoa, whoa, you’re telling me a dating site has a scientist working her magic? I thought it was just sorcery and AdWords). Helen will make you realize that you should put the same amount of research into dating and love as you do into which Crockpot you should purchase. She studied anthropology at the University of Colorado before specializing in human sexual behavior.
The author of six books, Helen examines how the brain and one’s personality can affect everything from sex to gender differences. Of course, the first thing we have to do before diving into the depths of our relationship is to take a deeper look into ourselves. One such way is through Helen’s “Know Thyself” personality quiz. Take it when you’re in that boring phone conference and find out which of the four styles you might be: builder, explorer, director or negotiator.
This is the kind of quiz that would be helpful when building a company culture that’s in sync. This “personality signature” is connected with a particular physical system: An explorer expresses traits linked with dopamine, for example, while a director expresses traits linked with testosterone. Once you figure out how you communicate and react to life’s occurrences, dust off your love life and take a look.
When Helen studied tens of thousands of Americans, she discovered what’s perhaps the key ingredient to a long relationship: slow love. While we often assume those one night stands or moving in together can be reckless or fruitless, Helen says the opposite. It’s slow love. Slowly building a pre-commitment can account for lower divorce rates. The pattern seems to be starting as friends, moving into friends-with-benefits before having an official first date, and extending the relationship to marriage.
No matter what your love life looks like, there’s no better time than now to assess it with a little science to back you up.
QUITE THE QUOTE
Entrepreneur G. D. Anderson said:
"Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength."